


A Night In The Armory

by Lacrysss, ofEmeraldStars



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Other, complete and utter crack, lol, trigger warning for some blood and cuts, we regret nothing, written a couple of years back during class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 04:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6141014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrysss/pseuds/Lacrysss, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofEmeraldStars/pseuds/ofEmeraldStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percival drunkenly stumbles upon Excalibur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Night In The Armory

As Percival walked into the armory, tripping over everything as his feet were not under his control, he noticed a sword, so beautiful in the moonlight. He just wanted to _touch_ it.

Excalibur was having quite a wonderful day. His master had given him a break, his father did not need him and the moon was so beautiful. Everything was beautiful and peaceful, until that stupid human came barging in and now he was trying to touch him. If he didn’t stop he was going to cut him.

Now on his hands and knees, Percival crawled over to the most gorgeous piece of metal he has ever seen in his entire life. And he did see his share of armory. Next to it, Percival reached out and let his fingers glide over its surface. “You are… so _beautiful._ ” he whispered.

Well… since he said that he was beautiful, Excalibur could endure it just a bit. But if he was going to leave fingerprints, his fingers will be cut off. _Ooo… ooh_ that stroking felt quite good.

Somehow, and he didn’t know how, Percival knew that this _sword_ was enjoying the treatment. With that in mind, he leaned his face in close and rested his cheek against the blade.

That stupid human put his face next to him. What was he thinking? What was he going to do next? If he will do something bad and stupid, he will regret it.

As he rested against the shiny surface of the sword, drool slowly dripping out of his mouth, Percival’s fingers were pressing against the steel harder and harder. Not long after the moonlight showed red liquid run down the length of the sword.

That bloody stupid moron… How DARE HE DROOL ON HIM. THE MIGHTY SWORD OF THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING?!?!?! That stupid human, he will get what he deserves. He will get his fingers cut off.

_“Ouch”_ Percival said, but did not take his fingers away. Feeling the cold blade against his hot skin completed him in ways he never thought possible.

It appeared that he did not give up easily. Very well, neither did Excalibur. He wasn’t called the Mighty Sword for nothing; He will keep cutting until He will get what he desired.

The milky light of the moon reflected upon the object in Percival’s arms, gave the knight a feeling of delirium as he imagined his fellow brother in armor next to him. Sliding down, not even caring about how to explain the cuts in the morning, Percival took the mighty sword down with him while he slowly slipped into oblivion.

He could not believe this; He could not bloody believe this. He, HE, was stuck in the armory with this smelly, dirty human. Ooh how tragic his life was. Ooh how his legend will go down as _“the sword that was tainted by that soiled barbarian”_. Oh how the world will weep for him.   

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did rereading it now after a really long time! :D
> 
> Percival written by me and Excalibur by Lacrysss :)


End file.
